Monday, April 07, 2014

Marriage is Teamwork

Have you read the famous or infamous article (depending how you look at it) by Gerald Rogers on a "My advice after a divorced following 16 years of marriage"?

The article are stir a lot of comments with many supportive and differing views.

It can go both ways. Marriage is teamwork. Read this article as "he" with "she" and "she" with "he", "man" with "woman" and "woman" with "man". And you'll see a fresh perspective that both parties contribute to a beautiful lasting and loving marriage. It's the teamwork.

From a loving old couple: When asked how they managed to stay together for 65 years, the woman replied, "We were born in a time where if something was broke, you fixed it... Not throw it away."

The below is the article written by Gerald Rogers.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My advice after a divorce following 16 years of marriage, by Gerald Rogers.

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had


    1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

  2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

  3. Fall in love over and over again.  You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

  4. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

  5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

  6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

  7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

  8. Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

  9. Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

  10. Fill her soul everyday… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

  11. Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

  12. Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

  13. Don’t be an idiot…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

  14. Give her space… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

  15. Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.


  16. Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

  17. Never stop growing together… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

  18. Don’t worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

  19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

  20. Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is,I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.


MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.



Tuesday, June 14, 2011

When It's Time to Get Married

Have you ever wonder when is the right time to get married? Is the person you are with the one you want to marry? Are they the one? Is there such thing as "The One"?

Search deep within yourself and find the truth but it is easier said than done. You find and find and find and yet not get the answers.

Some say (those that are married) that you will know once you are there. But the truth that matter is, you will never know. Nobody will every know. 


It's down to yourself and weather you are ready to get married. Whether you are ready to settle for the one person and go the distance in life. No partner will ever be perfect. There will always be troubles and yet you will fight through it, you will survive through and and grow stronger.

Stay positive, stay with it. Keep it on!

Good luck all!

Labels: , ,



Monday, October 04, 2010

I'm Strong When I'm On Your Shoulder

The heart sank watching this video... Derek Redmond during the 1992 Barcelona Olympics. Great and inspiring song too!


Watch the video!





JOSH GROBAN : "You Raise Me Up"

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

Labels: , , ,



Monday, September 20, 2010

What Gift is a Good Gift

Do you guys celebrate Birthdays? I heard of many sort of celebrations. Some like to throw huge parties, some like it quiet. Some like family gatherings, some like it solitary. Some like loads of gifts or expensive ones, some like it simple where wishes would do. Some love surprises, some just prefer to organize their own party!

What's your flavor? 

What are some of the type of gifts you give to say family, friends or love ones?

I personally like it simple. Nothing to big. Nothing to drastic. No gifts are fine with me. Most important is everyone around me have a good time. There is no greater feeling that to see those around you being happy on your birthday.

Contrary to what is stated here, during my 30th birthday, I threw a huge party where I invited lots of folks to my private reserved dance club. It was a blast of an event. Lots of drunkard. Next day, suffering!

Is this the type of birthday you want? So at the end of the day, what matter most is the remembrance of one's fabulous day for which you were born into this world!

Labels: , , ,



Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Love is in the Air

When do you know it's time to get married? Lots of thoughts crosses your mind? But one always wonders. Unless you don't intent to get married. Marriage is a bond. A join of two lives to become one stronger one. When is time??

Let's me know your thoughts. Drop a comment!


Labels: ,



Thursday, February 12, 2009

Meeting Girls?

Valentine's day is around the corner and you haven't met a girl you wanna take out or get laid with?

Read the article below by Giuseppe Notte on "Where Girls Go To Get Laid"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

This time I want to talk about a wonderful opportunity to meet a large number of hot girls.

I think it's one of the easiest places to pick up women - and by developing a little bit of skill, you'll have literally no competition.

Most guys go to clubs only to find rejection from the girls and great competition from the other men.

But have you ever thought of visiting one of your local dancing schools?

I know, I know... Now you'll come up with the typical excuse: You're not a "very good" dancer.

But use your brain!

If everyone were a good dancer, such schools wouldn't exist! There are also a large number of dances to choose from: I'm sure you can find one that you'll enjoy.

Just take my example: To be honest, I was never a good dancer.

I've never done any competitive sports, and when I was younger, I wasn't the best in gymnastics. But still, I decided to go for it and tried salsa dancing.

And man, what I found! A great number of beautiful, single women eager for my attention!

Apart from dance classes, most of the dance schools organize their own parties.

Meeting girls at these parties is a piece of cake: You don't need to know lame pickup lines or fancy ways of approaching women. All you need to do is ask her for a dance, and the rest will flow naturally.

After dancing, just grab her hand and ask if she wants to talk.

If you know how to dance just a bit, she will already be attracted to you and ready to go further.

Believe me, guys who know how to move are VERY ATTRACTIVE to women!

Since there are also many girls who are interested and don't even know how to dance, you can go far with only basic skills. The basics are easy to acquire by taking dancing lessons for three or four months.

And the party isn't over yet.

Most of these girls are not only single, but also very intelligent and know how to move their bodies.

Read: They are damn good in bed!

If you're interested, I suggest you do a search on the Internet for local dance schools. Visit a few of them - then decide which is the best for you. I suggest you check out either salsa or standard Latin dance schools.

Labels: , , , ,



Wednesday, February 11, 2009

V-Day is Cumming!

So Valentine's Day is coming... In fact, it's this Saturday, 14 of February! Same date every year without fail. How did Valetine's day come about? Find out more at : http://www.pictureframes.co.uk/pages/saint_valentine.htm

Let's move on to you. What are you getting for your loved ones? What do you have plans on that lovely day? Or any you not into the commericalization of lover's day? Does lover's day has to be everyday and not limited to one day of the year? Tell me what you think. What you have plans.

Cheers! And Happy Valentine's Day!

Labels: , ,



Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Love Test

Do a love test! What is your compatibility with you partner? Are you a match made in heaven? How deep is your love? Do you both belong?

Check out the original Internet Love Test. What does it say??

http://www.lovetest.com

Labels: , ,



Thursday, January 01, 2009

Here Comes 2009!

Happy new year all! Welcome 2009! May more love, joy and happiness be upon you!

Labels: ,



Wednesday, November 14, 2007

All About Loving You

It's all about loving you!



Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Being Romantic?

Have a significant other, whether your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend asked you to be a little more romantic? What do you do? I think being romantic is just relative. Different people perceive being romantic differently. However some general rules apply. Kissing the person every morning or when you see them. Buying small thoughtful gifts once a while. Things that spurs relationship further!

I know some people who like romantism to the level of what they see in movies. That's not romantic. That's fantasy. However, the media always up play such values to a point that we find it hard to practise.

I found a good romantic love website which give good advice. Check out http://www.theromantic.com/. You can find tips and great romantic ideas here!

Labels: , ,



Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Sports Illustrated Swimsuits in Pangkor Laut Resort

Recently I was at Pangkor Laut Resort and the Sports Illustrated Nashua team was shooting their latest swimsuit edition model! It was drool heaven!


Sports Illustrated Model
Sports Illustrated Model
Sports Illustrated Model

Labels: , , , , ,



Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Transformers 2 : The Rise of Megan Fox

Megan Fox in the recent Maxim magazine... Would the next release of the movie Transformers be "The Rise of Megan Fox"??






Labels: , ,



Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Megan Fox Checking Out the Car

Best part of the film featuring of Megan Fox in the movie, Transformers!


Labels: , ,



Megan Fox is in the House

Wow! Latest hottie in town, Megan Fox! Yup, she recently starred in the latest Blockbuster, Transformers!

Favortie part of the movie? When she leaned over the hood of the car (BumbleBee) to see what's wrong with it!!

Sweeeeet!!!!


Labels: , ,



Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Birth Month


JANUARY: Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive.
Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive.
Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Homely person. Loyal. Needs to improve social abilities. Easily jealous. Very Stubborn.


FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever.
Changing personality. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal.
Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Showing anger easily. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Learns to show emotions.


MARCH: Attractive personality Affectionate Shy and reserved.. Secretive.
Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others.. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners.Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.


APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling. Friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless.
Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive.
Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivate oneself and the others. Sickness usually of the head and chest.


MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts.. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention.. Deep feelings Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance.
understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling.
Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirit.. Spendthrift.


JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness.. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind ........ Hesitating.
Tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer.. Friendly.
Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions.
Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.


JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly.
Approachable. Emotional. Temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt.
Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally.
Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving... Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone.
Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet.Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved.
Easily hurt but takes long to recover. Shy.Fun to be with.


AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous.
Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led.
Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defenses. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and rusty.
Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.


SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Quiet but able to talk well.
Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Trustworthy, loyal and honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and travelling. Hardly shows emotions.
Tends to bottle up feelings. Choosy especially in relationships. Loves wide things. Systematic.


OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves him. Loves to takes things at the center. Attractive and suave. Inner and physical beauty.. Does not lie or pretend. Sympathetic. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel! the arts and literature. Soft-spoken, loving and caring. Romantic!!! Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair.. Spendthrift and easily influenced. Easily lose confidence. Loves children.


NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance.
Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted-if there is a will, there is a way.
Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships.. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets.. Not able to control emotions.
Unpredictable.


DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations.. Fun to be with.
Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor.

Labels: , ,



Love and Trust

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB."
There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
-----------------------------------------------------------------
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at.
This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, andrequested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one."
The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing.Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."
The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.
Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses.
The nightmare begins.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
----------------------------------------------------------------------
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anythingwithout considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could beanother man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. Onthe way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"
Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family.
How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is nogentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you."
Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the onlychoice left.
Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.
You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you.
Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
--------------------------------------------------------------------
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States.
A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck.
The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy'shands into pulp as punishment.
When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, hefinally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.
When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked,"but when are my fingers going to grow back?"
The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story thenext time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can berepaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't.
Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person andthe performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Pause and ponder. Think before you act. Be patient. Forgive & forget.
Love one and all.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

Labels: , ,



Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Wedding

Enough said...


www.mandymichaelloh.com



Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Employee Profile vs Horoscope

Love life is important. But what is love without a career. Let's see how your horoscope matches your career/employee profile. Gives you good indication of your partner too.

Aries Employee Profile
==================

Aries employees make excellent trouble-shooters.

They'll usually want to be out in the field at a variety of
different
work sites fixing things. They certainly won't be happy for very
long behind a desk in a 9 to 5 schedule.

The bored Aries employee who has been forced into a square
hole will typically be restless, angry, and careless with details.
No amount of money would compensate for being stuck in a
routine job. Money in fact isn't why they are working at all.
They do want to be paid fairly and need a status position to
satisfy their competitive tendencies--
but even more importantly, they'll want challenging new
projects. They typically like to have a sense of responsibility
and need to feel needed. In return, they'll give their all and
provide detailed, consistent work. They will literally work
themselves to exhaustion to prove themselves.

If you want to keep your Aries co-worker productive and happy,
you'll want to give them the opportunity to work independently
or let them help and lead less experienced workers.



Taurus Employee Profile
===================

Taureans make some of the best employees. They are loyal,
hardworking, and no-nonsense. They work methodically and
follow projects through until they are complete. Some may
appear to work a little too slowly-usually because they are so
careful-but they will always finish what they start. They thrive on
structure, schedules, and routine. You'll find them doing the
same exact thing at the same time every day.

Taureans, however, are not exactly the malleable workers that
they often appear to be. If they have to work in a chaotic
environment, they won't be happy and will be prone to child-like
temper tantrums and stubbornness. They might react similarly if
they have to work around ignorant people or at a job where
there is no obvious potential for advancement.

Taureans will be very unhappy if there isn't a ladder for them to
climb. Even in the worst situations, they will find a way to
advance slowly, winning over the most difficult people who
may stand in their way of progress.

Taurus employees will only take so much patiently and happily
before they feel they are being taken advantage of. They will
gladly accept orders and do whatever dirty work needs to get
done, but they expect rewards. They want material gain, salary
increases, and the potential for more power.

To make your Taurus employees happy, be sure to give them
projects through which they will see tangible results-hopefully
something that will allow them to express their unique creativity
in addition to their practical side. They don't want to feel mired
in details for long periods of time.

Make sure to schedule regular performance and salary reviews.
This show of respect should keep them loyal to the company.



Gemini Employee Profile
===================

Gemini employees can have difficulty concentrating on one
thing for long periods of time. They have quick-moving minds
and love to talk and communicate their ideas with others.
They thrive on social interaction -- even if their jobs don't
particularly support it. You'll be able to find them wandering
from desk to desk gossiping about all the sordid news in the
office. They can be powerful persuaders in their speech and
make ideal salespeople and mediators. They love to nego-
tiate and can work out the best Deal for everyone involved.

When properly stimulated, they can manage to keep their
wandering mind focused and actually be quite productive.
When they are bored, bogged down with mundane detail-
work, or forced to work with people whom they consider droll,
they can become mean-spirited and gossipy. Their moods
can fluctuate vastly day to day, as well as their productivity.

It is really against their nature to be forced into an average
workday schedule and environment. They are happier traveling.
lf they are in an office they will need constant new stimulation.

Most will be wanting advancement if they see this as a way to
escape the limitations of their jobs. This can motivate them to
put extra effort into their job. If you work with a Gemini, try to
avoid getting into any debates with them - they will surely
win and it could end in some hard feelings on your part. They
will need an accepting environment-one that supports their
need for multi-tasking.



Cancer Employee Profile
====================

The Cancer employee isn't at work to feed their ego -- their
job is just a job and a means to get paid. They work steadily
and are usually very reliable. You'll be able to depend on them
to show up on time and do what is necessary. They won't get
involved in power struggles or get upset when someone
advances before them. They are able to accept the situation
because they see it simply as a rung on the ladder up. Their
motivation is security.

They'll want more money the longer they've stayed at a job.
They don't want to have to worry about how they'll make ends
meet tomorrow so they'll need a stable position without much
risk. Cancerian workers can slip into some dark moods on
occasion.

During these periods productivity tends to drop-as well as
everyone else's in the office. Their moods can be so strong
everyone becomes affected. To avoid the frequency of these
occurrences, managers and co-workers should try to make
the work environment as homey as possible-keep it well
heated, cozy, and friendly. Don't press them to reveal their
true inner thoughts-their tendency is to be secretive and
protective, and they could see prying as an attempt to
disturb their security.


Leo Employee Profile
=================

Leo workers want to be first and at the center of the office.
Even if they can't lead, they'll look for every opportunity to
increase their own status -- and if someone else seems
ahead of them, look out. They will make it clear that they
aren't happy by pouting and complaining. They want
advancement so much that they'll take on more respon-
sibility and carry a heavier load than anyone else does in
the office. And they are self-promoters. It is likely that they
are telling everyone in the office what a great job they are
doing as well as giving everyone unwanted advice.

They know they are superior and want everyone to know it
as well. This arrogance can sometimes cause problems
when working with management. But typically, they are just
hard workers out to demonstrate just how good they really are.

They thrive in sales positions - they can promote a product
or company just as well as they promote themselves.

Their strength and arrogance isn't just show either. In a crisis
situation, Leos really demonstrate their true courage.

Leos want to lead and will be pushing for more responsibility
and rewards. They are happy to train and mentor new co-
workers as they enjoy giving advice and being in positions of
authority.

If you are trying to manage a Leo employee, you'll need to
give them plenty of praise, responsibility, and independence.
They will certainly want to help lighten your load of manage-
ment responsibilities. Just be careful- the next thing you know
they could be taking over your job.


Virgo Employee Profile
==================

In the right situations Virgos love to work. They make ideal
emloyees, happily working late into the night to make sure
everything is perfect and in order. If you are looking for an
employee who doesn't mind starting from rock bottom in the
most entry-level position at the company, hire a Virgo.

They'll have no complaints about the position being beneath
them. They are CONTENT with basic, honest hard work.
Their contentment isn't always apparent, however.

They love to complain and worry. They are quick to criticize
the way things are done around the office and are the first
ones to grumble disapprovingly at what they consider to be
extravagance or laziness. They are blunt and honest and
don't mince words over what they feel just isn't right.

Usually, this will be brought on by someone doing a half-
baked job or not being considerate of other co-workers.

You'll want to constantly reassure them, but this will do little to
quell their anxieties. They actually enjoy worrying, and there
is little you can do about it. Just give them a detail - oriented
project and let them work alone on it. You won't have to
supervise a Virgo worker. They'll check all the facts before
getting started and catch their own errors when they are done.

To keep a Virgo employee happy, you should also make sure
their environment is orderly and calm. You should also provide
small gestures of appreciation. They don't need extravagance,
just let them know you appreciate them in small ways that
won't embarrass them. They will probably just shrug their
shoulders and say, "It's no big deal." But deep down inside
they need these little reassurances.



Libra Employee Profile
==================

Libra employees are detailed, dedicated workers with
sensitive natures. Managers and co-workers sometimes
find them difficult to get a handle on. They pick up the
energy of the office and are unable to prevent it from
affecting them. Loud noise, flashy colors, and discordant
vibrations will put them off so much that they will have
difficulty fulfilling their obligations at work.

One day they may seem like the most bright, hardworking,
ambitious employee around. The next day they might be
down, irritated, and unable to produce. Co-workers
shouldn't fret when Libra employees are in a dark mood.
It really won't last, as a happy state of mind can come over
them just as quickly. When Libra employees are in a
balanced frame of mind, they can be a powerful presence
at work-they have a way of gracing everything they touch.
Underneath that mess of moods, they really are basically
happy and stable people. They are capable of profound
logical thought and evaluate all sides of a situation before
acting. They are one of the most intelligent Signs around.

They are expert researchers and mediators. And their
sensitivity to their environment makes them naturals at
keeping things looking great. They will easily help others
resolve conflicts and can act as a go-between with workers
and management so that everyone ends up happy.

If you want to keep your Libran worker smiling, give them
the respect they are due and put them in a position where
they can project their great charm and diplomacy. They
won't be CONTENT to take orders for very long, either-
make sure they are given increased responsibility.


Scorpio Employee Profile
====================

Scorpio employees usually exude a quiet self-confidence. They
are self-sufficient and do not depend on others for a sense of
self-worth. They keep their private life separate from work and
take complete responsibility for their actions and their situation.
They don't make excuses; they just take care of business and
expect everyone else to do the same. Those who don't, co-
workers and managers- will have to endure the Scorpio wrath.

They don't mind being completely vocal about what they feel is
wrong with any given situation. And if you tread on their fire be
sure to expect retaliation. They won't take insults or opposition
lying down.

If you manage a Scorpio employee, be sure to follow through
with your word and don't break any promises-Scorpio is
keeping track and building up some heavy resentments
against you if you do. You may not even be aware of it until
too late-but when Scorpio gets too much, you'll be sure to
know.

Scorpio employees will react towards those around them
exactly as they are treated. When they get what they want,
they will be very accepting.

If you are trying to work with or motivate a Scorpio co-worker,
be sure to treat them respectfully and act professionally.
Give them challenging work that allows them to utilize their
awesome self-confidence and courage.



Sagittarius Employee Profile
======================

The Sagittarian employee is head strong, cheerful, and willing
to help. They exude self-confidence and take on tasks like
there's no tomorrow. They are willing to tackle even the
toughest of projects as long as it is challenging and gets them
out of the routine. Lucky for them, their shining personalities
and honest enthusiasm seem like a bright spot in the office-
otherwise co-workers might begin to build animosity towards
someone so arrogant and extravagant.

Their tendency to exaggerate and take on more then they can
handle usually results in missed deadlines and dropping the
ball-not because they are lazy of procrastinate, but because
their enthusiasm just gets the better of them sometimes.
Don't let their nonchalance fool you-they really do care about
what they are doing. They just have an easy-going attitude
that allows them to keep on smiling even when they just
messed up big time.

Just because they are flexible and easy-going doesn't mean
they won't tell you exactly how they feel-what is working for
them and what isn't. And they won't just blindly take orders -
they need to understand the method and reason behind the
process.

If you are trying to motivate your Sagittarian employee, be
sure to feed them plenty of challenging new projects and
hint that some business trips might be on the horizon once
deadlines are met.

And whatever you do, try not to question their intentions-
it is the quickest way to make them upset. They aren't
capable of deceit.



Capricorn Employee Profile
======================

A Capricorn employee with too much to do is a happy worker.

They need plenty of projects and responsibility. There is no
sadder sight than a Capricorn worker without a sense of
responsibility. They need to be needed. They are covertly
ambitious - usually not flashy or obvious about it-but you will
usually know that they are serious and determined about
advancing themselves.

They are completely scrupulous, so much so that they can be
self-disparaging. But they are no pushovers. They can wear
down even the toughest customers. Their persistence is
incredible. Once they set their sights on a goal, they work
away at it until the bitter end-whether the goal be that hard
sell or the new hardware release.

Capricorns don't work for free, however. They expect to be
paid handsomely and be given more and more responsibility.
They need to come out ahead of the pack in the end, and
they see the work environment as their primary vehicle.

They won't go in for the typical office gossip and politics, though.

They want to get down to business at work and see it as no
place for fooling around.

With a strong sense of duty and respect towards their superiors,
it is rare they will join in on boss-bashing or knocking the system.

They can get frustrated, however, with blue sky management
schemes that lack common sense, and they will interject their
dry sense of humor in the most critical ways.

If they want change, they will be unyielding. If all their effort
leads to naught the result will be deep moods of darkness and
depression with a sense of hopelessness.

Keep your Capricorn employee happy by paying them fairly
and giving them plenty of hard work. Arrange for a path of
advancement within your organization for them. If you don't,
you might find them looking for other opportunities.



Aquarius Employee Profile
=====================

The Aquarius employee can't tolerate unfairness in the office.

Hair brained schemes will get the positive attention they
deserve if an Aquarian has anything to do with it. They'll try
to help everyone see the good side of a bad situation if it's
the last thing that they do. They are so smart-they can't help
but hold management in disdain if they feel that they are
being unfair and unintelligent. It isn't that they are overly
ambitious and think they could be doing a better job- just
that they think people in power should know better.

Most Aquarius workers are still looking for themselves and
will want to try their hand at a variety of jobs in the workplace.
Whatever they are doing, they will do conscientiously.

They usually have strict personal codes that include a strong
work ethic. Their bright, off-beat intelligence, and trustworthi-
ness will typically gain them many friends-in and out of work.

Beneath that sometimes odd-ball behavior is solid, concrete
thinking and sensitivity to co-workers. Keep your smart
Aquarius co-worker happy by giving them plenty of opportunity
to learn news kills.

Raises are less important to them. No amount of money will
make it worth their while to stay in a stagnant position. Don't
let them get too bored or they will simply find another job as
easily as they found this one-their genius is easy to spot.



Pisces Employee Profile
===================

The Pisces employee can be a loyal and hard-working, if
unconventional, worker. In the right position, they are able to
keep their daydreams in check and buckle down on the
detail work-giving their all to the boss and corporation whom
they feel are worthy of devotion.

On the flip side, there is no image of extreme misery like that
of an ill-placed Pisces worker. They will act as though their
cubicle were a prison cell as they daydream of their own
business or next vacation.

Unhappy Pisces workers usually won't stick around too long.
Often Pisceans will drift from one job to another looking for
that ideal environment to which they will be able to commit
and feel a sense of purpose. And if things are going in a bad
direction at the office, Pisces will be the first to sense it.
They'd rather pick up and leave then wait until the problem
reaches a head. Pisces are often misunderstood by their
co-workers.

Typically timid and introspective, they usually keep their true
nature hidden, for fear it wouldn't fit with the corporate culture.
What motivates a Pisces employee to not only stick around
but also excel? Try compliments. And show them how their
work impacts the entire organization.

They need to know that what they are doing is worth
something on a grander scale. Acceptance of their
unconventional organization and planning will be necessary.
Just because their sales report isn't in the typical format
doesn't mean it is any less effective. Keep their environment
bright and upbeat; and an after-work cocktail wouldn't hurt.

Labels: , , ,



Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Love & Relationship Personality Test

Try this. See if it is true about you. Answer Honestly!!!!
Do NOT read ahead!!!! It will ruin it. So is it true? Tell me!


Questions first...

1. You are walking to your boy/girlfriend's house. There are two roads to get there. One is a straight path to take you there quickly, but is very plain and boring. The other is significantly longer but is full of wonderful sights and interesting things. Which one do you take to get your significant other's house, short or long?

2. On the way you see 2 rose bushes. One is full of red roses, the other full of white. You decide to pick 20 roses for your boy/girlfriend,of any color combination. What number of white and red do you pick? (you can pick all of one or any combo of the two)

3. You finally get to their house. A family member answers the door. You can have them get your boy/girlfriend or go get them yourself. Which do you do?

4. You go up to you boy/girlfriend's room, but nobody is there. You decide to leave the roses. Do you leave them by the windowsill or on the bed?

5. Later, it's time for bed. You and your boy/girlfriend go to sleep in separate rooms. In the morning when its time to wake up you go in his/her room and check on him/her. When you arrive, is he/she awake or asleep?

6. Now it's time to go back home. Do you take the short, plain road or the longer, more interesting road?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


NOW THE ANSWERS

1. The road represents your attitude towards falling in love. If you take the short road, you fall in love quickly and easily. If you take the long road, you take your time and do not fall in love as easily.

2. The number of red roses represents how much you give in a relationship, while the number of white represents what you expect in return. For example, if you chose 18 red and 2 white, you give 90% and expect 10% in return.

3. This question represents your attitude towards handling relationship problems. If you asked the family member to get your significant other, then you like to avoid problems and hope that they will solve themselves. If you went to get them yourself, then you are a more direct person and like to work out problems immediately.

4. The placement of roses determines how much you like to see your boy/girlfriend. Placing them on the bed means you like to see him/her a lot, while placing them on the windowsill means that you are all right with not seeing him/her as much.

5. This is representative of your attitude towards his/her personality. If you find him/her asleep, you love your boy/girlfriend the way he/she is. If you find him/her awake, you expect him/her to change for you.

6. The road to home tells how long you stay in love with someone. If you chose the short road, you fall out of love easily. If you chose the longer one, you will tend to stay in love for a long time.

Labels: , , ,



Friday, January 05, 2007

Love and Birth Month

Does the month of your birthdate tell you something about love? Read below and tell me what you think! Is it for real?

JANUARY: Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Homely person. Loyal. Needs to improve social abilities. Easily jealous. Very Stubborn.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Showing anger easily. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Learns to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality Affectionate Shy and reserved.. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others.. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners.Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling. Friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivate oneself and the others. Sickness usually of the head and chest.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts.. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention.. Deep feelings Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirit.. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness.. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind . Hesitating. Tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer.. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional. Temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving... Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet.Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover. Shy.Fun to be with.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defenses. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and rusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Trustworthy, loyal and honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and travelling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Choosy especially in relationships. Loves wide things. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves him. Loves to takes things at the center. Attractive and suave. Inner and physical beauty.. Does not lie or pretend. Sympathetic. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel! the arts and literature. Soft-spoken, loving and caring. Romantic!!! Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair.. Spendthrift and easily influenced. Easily lose confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted-if there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships.. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets.. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations.. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor.

Labels: , , ,



Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Partners and Marriage

This is a great love article to read. A little long but well worth it. All about having the right partner and getting married. A must for those who intend to or have married.


PARTNERS AND MARRIAGE
By Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz

I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.

When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.

And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible. How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other's habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?

The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed.


It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.

Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail.
You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side.

This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts.

Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.

The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.

This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility. One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term.

If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new.

Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.

After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again.

If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.

Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life.

We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance doesn't become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.

There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.

So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly.

Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe.

Marriage is a transformation we choose to make. Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come.

If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger.

It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion.
All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter.

But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things.

But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousnesses come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one. There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.

But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex.

So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation. If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience.

When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom...endlessly.

Labels: , ,



Friday, December 15, 2006

Love to a Successful Career

Recently, I've posted a lot about love and the like... Well, without success, there ain't going to be love. So be loved and have a successful career.

Anthony Robbins said:
Success - "knowing the right people," "being in the right place at the right time," and "using the right tools"

Your career is not everything; your life is. But then, what is life without a career or a career without a life?

1. You are always on your own. Even if you work for a big company, you will always be on your own. Companies aren't people. They're things and they don't have feelings. If you are expecting the company to "take care of you or "do the right thing", you'll be often disappointed. There are no strong bonds in a company. No one cares more about your career than you do. Remember that, and don't expect the company to take care of you.

2. Certain jobs fit certain people best. You do have special gifts that fit you for some, disqualify you for others. Take time to assess your skills, temperament and aptitude in depth.

3. Careers are short-term. Your present job can end anytime, even if you own the company! Therefore, think short term. Don't take your present career for granted. Someone once described a consultant as a person who wakes up every morning unemployed. You should feel the same way. Wake up every morning feeling unemployed so that you'll appreciate your present job more and figure out what you're going to do next. Always have a "Plan B." (No kidding!!)

4. It's more important to be a "people person" than an "achievement-oriented person who always win at the cost of ! others. People skills are more important than technical skills. Even in technical jobs, you have to deal with someone. The average performer who are easier to get along with last longer in his job.

5. What you accomplish today will be your calling card tomorrow. Your accomplishments will determine your marketability. In marketing yourself, it's the results that count. A soccer forward who scores in every game is easier to market than one who doesn't. So make sure you're contributing something substantial and measurable every day. And make sure you keep a written record of your results, in case you forget!

6. If you lose your job, 80% of your marketing for a new position is already done. T! hat's right. Your reputation, results, accomplishments, people skills, contributions, friendships are all a matter of record. If you've been a contributor, if you've been kind to others and easy-to-work-with, you'll be in better demand. If not, you won't. Nobody can create friendship for you if you haven't created it for yourself.

7. Changing fields, industries, and functional specialties is difficult. The more difficult it is, the bigger the change will be. Therefore, choose your career path carefully. As management expert Peter Drucker says, "The best way to predict the future is to plan it."

8. If you're fired or laid off, don't sue your former employer. Ask yourself why you didn't see it coming; or if you did see it coming. Ask yourself why you didn't do something about it. Figure out your part in causing the problem. Then set about creating a new, better life for yourself. There is a better life in your future.

9. Don't stay in a job you hate. Hating your job can kill you.

10. Success is difficult. If success were easy, everyone would be successful.

11. There's a special place for everyone. You can create the kind of future you want.

12. The workplace is fun and challenging. It can also be cruel and heartless. It rewards effort and planning, but tends to punish indifference and lack of preparation. Those who don't manage their careers, who just let things happen - often end up in painful, dead-end jobs and lifestyles.

13. You are in full control of your own future. No one can deny you a happy life if you decide to plan it and work for it. No one can stop you from becoming successful, but yourself.

14. It's never too late for a new beginning.

15. Align yourself with winners. Hang around with winners. Success really does rub off from others. "If you keep doing what you have always been doing, you're going to get what you've always gotten"

Labels: , ,



Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Smart Love

An interesting read. MUST READ!


SMART LOVE
By Joshua Harris

Beyond what feels good, back to what is good It was finally here-Anna's wedding day, the day she had dreamed about and planned for months. The small, picturesque church was crowded with friends and family Sunlight poured through the stained-glass windows, and the gentle music of a stringed quartet filled the air. Anna walked down the aisle toward David. Joy surged within her. This was the moment for which she had waited so long. He gently took her hand, and they turned toward the altar.

But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. A girl stood up in the middle of the congregation, walked quietly to the altar, and took David's other hand. Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followed by another. Soon, a chain of six girls stood by him as he repeated his vows to Anna.

Anna felt her lip beginning to quiver as tears welled up in her eyes. "Is this some kind of joke?" she whispered to David.

"I'm.. .I'm sorry, Anna," he said, staring at the floor.

"Who are these girls, David? What is going on?" she gasped.

"They're girls from my past," he answered sadly "Anna, they don't mean anything to me now.. .but I've given part of my heart to each of them."

"I thought your heart was mine," she said.

"It is, it is," he pleaded. "Everything that's left is yours." A tear rolled down Anna's cheek. Then she woke up.


BETRAYED

Anna told me about her dream in a letter. "When I awoke I felt so betrayed," she wrote. "But then I was struck with this sickening thought:

How many men could line up next to me on my wedding day? How many times have I given my heart away in short-term relationships? Will I have anything left to give my husband?"

I often think of Anna's dream. The jarring image haunts me. There are girls from my past, too. What if they showed up on my wedding day? What could they say in the receiving line?

"Hello, Joshua. Those were some pretty lofty promises you made at the altar today I hope you're better at keeping promises now than you were when I knew you."

"My, don't you look nice in that tuxedo. And what a beautiful bride. Does she know about me? Have you told her all the sweet things you used to whisper in my ear?"

There are relationships that I can only look back on with regret. I do my best to forget. I laugh them off as part of the game of love that everyone plays. I know God has forgiven me because I've asked Him to. I know the various girls have forgiven me because I've asked them to.

But I still feel the ache of having given away my heart to too many girls in my past.

THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS

Growing up, I considered dating an essential part of the complete teenage experience. If I wasn't dating a girl, I had a crush on one.

This started in junior high when my peers and I treated dating as a game, a chance to play at love and experiment with relationships. Having a girlfriend meant little more than saying you were "going out." No big deal.

My friends and I would go out with girls and break up with them at a frightening pace. The only worry was being dumped-you never wanted to get dumped, you wanted to do the dumping. One girl I knew had the fastest breakup routine ever: When she was ready to end a relationship, she'd say, "Skippy-bop, you just got dropped."
But soon, just saying you were going out with someone wasn't enough.

Instead, we began experimenting with the physical side of relationships.

Going out with someone came to mean you made out with that person, too. I remember standing by as a girl I liked called her boyfriend and broke up with him over the phone. As soon as she hung up, she kissed me. That meant we were an "official couple." Looking back, I can only shake my head at how immature we were. The physical intimacy of those junior high relationships had nothing to do with love or real affection. We just mimicked what we saw older kids do and what we watched in the movies. It seemed grown up, but in reality it was lust.

I'm thankful that junior high didn't last forever. In high school, I got serious about my walk with God and became actively involved in the church youth group. I put an "I'm Worth Waiting For" sticker on my NIV Student Bible and promised to stay a virgin until I got married. Unfortunately, youth group did little to improve my immature notions about relationships.

Even in church we played the dating game with passion-more passion, I regret to say, than we gave to worshiping or listening to sermons. During Sunday morning services we passed notes about who liked whom, who was going out with whom, and who had broken up with whom. Wednesday night youth group meetings served as our own opportunities to play "Love Connection," a game that resulted in broken hearts littering the foyer.

In my sophomore year, my involvement in the dating game took a more serious turn. That summer, I met Kelly She was beautiful, blonde, and two inches taller than I. I didn't mind. Kelly was popular, and all the guys liked her. Since I was the only one in the youth group who had the nerve to talk to her, she wound up liking me. I asked her to be my girlfriend on the youth group's water ski retreat.

Kelly was my first serious girlfriend. Everyone in our youth group recognized us as a couple. We celebrated our "anniversary" every month. And Kelly knew me better than anyone else. After my folks were asleep, Kelly and I would spend hours on the phone, often late into the night, talking about everything and nothing in particular. We thought God had made us for each other. We talked about getting married someday. I promised her that I would love her forever.

But, like many high school relationships, our romance was premature-too much, too soon. We began to struggle with the physical side of our relationship. We knew we couldn't be as close physically as we were emotionally. As a result, we experienced ongoing tension, and it wore on us.

Eventually, things turned sour.

"We have to break up," I said to her one night after a movie. We both knew this was coming.

"Is there any chance we can have something in the future?" she asked.

"No," I said, trying to add resolve to my voice. "No, it's over.

We broke up two years after we'd met. Not quite "forever," as I had promised.

SOMETHING BETTER

I was seventeen years old when my relationship with Kelly ended. My dreams of romance had ended in compromise, bitterness, and regret. I walked away asking, "Is this how it has to be?" I felt discouraged, confused, and desperate for an alternative to the cycle of short-term relationships in which I found myself. "God," I cried, "I want your best for my life! Give me something better than this!"
God answered that plea, but not in the way I had expected. I thought He'd bring me the ideal girlfriend or totally remove my desire for romance.

Instead, He revealed through His Word what it meant to submit my love life to His Will-something I'd never truly done. I wanted God's best but hadn't been willing to play by His rules.

Over the past four years, I've come to understand that God's lordship doesn't merely tinker with my approach to romance- it completely transforms it. God not only wants me to act differently, He wants me to think differently-to view love, purity, and singleness from His perspective, to have a new lifestyle and attitude.

The basis of this new attitude is what I call "smart love." Paul describes this kind of love in Philippians 1:9-10:

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ.

Smart love constantly grows and deepens in its practical knowledge and insight; it opens our eyes to see God's best for our lives, enabling us to be pure and blameless in His sight.

SENTIMENTAL GUSH

The Message paraphrases Philippians 1:9-10 this way: "Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush."

Have you ever been guilty of "sentimental gush," allowing your emotions to dictate the course of a dating relationship? Many people do this. Instead of acting on what they know is right, couples let their feelings carry them away I've engaged in my share of sentimental gush. While dating, I made many decisions based on superficiality and ignorance. I could so easily say "I love you" to a girl, feigning selfless devotion, but in truth, selfishness and insincerity motivated me. I was primarily interested in what I could get, such as the popularity a girlfriend could give me or the comfort and pleasure I could gain physically or emotionally from a relationship. I didn't practice smart love. I lived "dumb love"-choosing what felt good for me instead of what was good for others and what pleased God.

To truly love someone with smart love, we need to use our heads as well as our hearts. As Paul describes it, love abounds in knowledge and insight. To "know" something is to understand or grasp it clearly and with certainty "Insight" is an instance of understanding the true nature of something, the ability to see the motivation behind thoughts and actions.

With this definition in mind, let me ask you a few questions. Does love motivate the guy who sleeps with his girlfriend when it will scar her emotionally and damage her relationship with God? Does sincerity motivate the girl who leads a guy along then breaks up with him when she finds someone better? No! Both people exemplify selfish motivation. They need to "get smart" and realize how their actions affect others.


In recent years, I've tried to let sincere and intelligent love guide me, and as I've done this, I've come to some pretty intense conclusions for my life. I've come to realize that I have no business asking for a girl's heart and affections if I'm not ready to back up my request with a lifelong commitment. Until I can do that, I'd only be using that woman to meet my short-term needs, not seeking to bless her for the long term. Would I enjoy having a girlfriend right now? You bet! But with what I've learned as I've sought God's will for my life, I know that a relationship right now wouldn't be best for me or for the one I'd date. Instead, by avoiding romance before God tells me I'm ready for it, I can better serve girls as a friend, and I can remain free to keep my focus on the Lord.

KNOWING WHAT IS BEST

Waiting until I'm ready for commitment before pursuing romance is just one example of smart love in action. When our love grows in knowledge we can more readily "discern what is best" for our lives. Don't we all desperately need that discernment?

After all, when we engage in guy-girl relationships, we face some pretty hazy issues. Don't get me wrong-I believe in absolutes. But in dating, we don't only have to make wise choices between absolute wrong and absolute right. We also have to evaluate all parts of our dating relationships to make sure we don't go too far, allowing ourselves to get pulled into something we should avoid.

Here's an example. Let's say that someone at school asks you out. How do you seek guidance about what kind of person you can go out with? Try looking up "dating" in your Bible's concordance. You won't get far. Or maybe you've gone out on a few dates with someone, and you just kissed for the first time. It was exciting. You feel as if you're in love. But is it right?

How do we find answers to these questions? This is where "smart love" comes in. God wants us to seek guidance from scriptural truth, not feeling. Smart love looks beyond personal desires and the gratification of the moment. It looks at the big picture: serving others and glorifying God.

"What about me?" you might be asking. "What about my needs?" This is the awesome part: When we make God's glory and other people's needs our priority, we position ourselves to receive God's best in our lives as well.

Let me explain.

In the past I made the starting point of my relationships what I wanted instead of what God wanted. I looked out for my needs and fit others into my agenda. Did I find fulfillment? No, I only found compromise and heartache. I not only hurt others, I hurt myself, and, most seriously, I sinned against God.

But when I reversed my attitude and made my main priority in relationships pleasing God and blessing others, I found true peace and joy Smart love unlocks God's best for our lives. When I stopped viewing girls as potential girlfriends and started treating them as sisters in Christ, I discovered the richness of true friendship. When I stopped worrying about who I was going to marry and began to trust God's timing, I uncovered the incredible potential of serving God as a single. And when I stopped flirting with temptation in one-on-one dating relationships and started pursuing righteousness, I uncovered the peace and power that come from purity I kissed dating goodbye because I found out that God has something better in store!

PURE AND BLAMELESS

The final benefit of seeking smart love is purity and blamelessness before God. This purity goes beyond sexual purity While physical purity is very important, God also wants us to pursue purity and blamelessness in our motives, our minds, and our emotions.

Does this mean we'll never mess up? Of course not! We can only stand before God because of His grace and the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus. And yet this grace doesn't give us license to be lax in our pursuit of righteousness.

Instead, it should urge us to desire purity and blamelessness even more.

Ben started dating Alyssa during his senior year in college. For quite some time, he had planned to marry the summer after he graduated. Since he and Alyssa were both deeply attracted to each other, he thought she was "the one."

In a letter, Ben told me how he had grown up with very high standards in his dating relationships. Alyssa was another story While Ben had never so much as kissed a girl, kissing was practically a sport for her.

Unfortunately, Alyssa~ values won out. "When she looked at me with those big brown eyes like I was depriving her of something, I caved in," Ben wrote. Their relationship soon became almost entirely physical. They maintained their virginity but only in the technical sense of the word.

A few months later, Alyssa began to be tutored in chemistry by another Christian guy whom Ben had never met. "That was a mistake," Ben wrote angrily "They were studying chemistry all right-body chemistry!" Alyssa broke up with Ben and the next day was hanging on the arm of her new boyfriend.

"I was crushed," Ben told me. "I had violated my own standards, and more important, God's standards, and it turned out that this wasn't the woman I was to marry" For several months Ben wrestled with guilt but finally laid it at the foot of the cross and moved on, determined not to make the same mistake twice. But what about Alyssa? Yes, God can forgive her, too. But I wonder if she ever realized she needs that forgiveness. When she passes Ben in the hail at school or sees him in the cafeteria, what goes through her mind? Does she realize she played a part in tearing down his purity? Does she feel pangs of guilt for breaking his heart? Does she even care?

I've shared with you how God has changed my perspective on dating. I've described how I've chosen to live my life and to interact with women until God shows me I'm ready for marriage. What would make me think that anyone would want to hear what I have to say? Because I think God would like to challenge you, too.

I believe the time has come for Christians, male and female, to own up to the mess we've left behind in our selfish pursuit of short-term romance.

Dating may seem an innocent game, but as I see it, we are sinning against each other. What excuse will we have when God asks us to account for our actions and attitudes in relationships? If God sees a sparrow fall (Matthew 10:29), do you think He could possibly overlook the broken hearts and scarred emotions we cause in relationships based on selfishness?

Everyone around us may be playing the dating game. But at the end of our lives, we won't answer to everyone. We'll answer to God. No one in my youth group knew how I compromised in my relationships. I was a leader and considered a good kid. But Christ says, "There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known" (Luke 12:2).

Our actions in relationships haven't escaped God's notice. But here's the good news: The God who sees all our sin is also ready to forgive all our sins if we repent and turn from them. He calls us to a new way of life. I know God has forgiven me for the sins I've committed against him and against the girlfriends I've had. I also know He wants me to spend the rest of my life living a lifestyle of smart love. The grace he has shown motivates me to make purity and blamelessness my passion.

I'm committed to practicing smart love, and I invite you along. Let's make purity and blamelessness our priority before our all-seeing, all-knowing God.

Labels: , ,