Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Partners and Marriage

This is a great love article to read. A little long but well worth it. All about having the right partner and getting married. A must for those who intend to or have married.


PARTNERS AND MARRIAGE
By Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz

I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.

When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.

And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible. How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other's habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?

The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed.


It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.

Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail.
You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side.

This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts.

Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.

The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.

This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility. One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term.

If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new.

Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.

After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again.

If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.

Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life.

We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance doesn't become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.

There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.

So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly.

Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe.

Marriage is a transformation we choose to make. Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come.

If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger.

It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion.
All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter.

But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things.

But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousnesses come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one. There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.

But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex.

So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation. If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience.

When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom...endlessly.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Love to a Successful Career

Recently, I've posted a lot about love and the like... Well, without success, there ain't going to be love. So be loved and have a successful career.

Anthony Robbins said:
Success - "knowing the right people," "being in the right place at the right time," and "using the right tools"

Your career is not everything; your life is. But then, what is life without a career or a career without a life?

1. You are always on your own. Even if you work for a big company, you will always be on your own. Companies aren't people. They're things and they don't have feelings. If you are expecting the company to "take care of you or "do the right thing", you'll be often disappointed. There are no strong bonds in a company. No one cares more about your career than you do. Remember that, and don't expect the company to take care of you.

2. Certain jobs fit certain people best. You do have special gifts that fit you for some, disqualify you for others. Take time to assess your skills, temperament and aptitude in depth.

3. Careers are short-term. Your present job can end anytime, even if you own the company! Therefore, think short term. Don't take your present career for granted. Someone once described a consultant as a person who wakes up every morning unemployed. You should feel the same way. Wake up every morning feeling unemployed so that you'll appreciate your present job more and figure out what you're going to do next. Always have a "Plan B." (No kidding!!)

4. It's more important to be a "people person" than an "achievement-oriented person who always win at the cost of ! others. People skills are more important than technical skills. Even in technical jobs, you have to deal with someone. The average performer who are easier to get along with last longer in his job.

5. What you accomplish today will be your calling card tomorrow. Your accomplishments will determine your marketability. In marketing yourself, it's the results that count. A soccer forward who scores in every game is easier to market than one who doesn't. So make sure you're contributing something substantial and measurable every day. And make sure you keep a written record of your results, in case you forget!

6. If you lose your job, 80% of your marketing for a new position is already done. T! hat's right. Your reputation, results, accomplishments, people skills, contributions, friendships are all a matter of record. If you've been a contributor, if you've been kind to others and easy-to-work-with, you'll be in better demand. If not, you won't. Nobody can create friendship for you if you haven't created it for yourself.

7. Changing fields, industries, and functional specialties is difficult. The more difficult it is, the bigger the change will be. Therefore, choose your career path carefully. As management expert Peter Drucker says, "The best way to predict the future is to plan it."

8. If you're fired or laid off, don't sue your former employer. Ask yourself why you didn't see it coming; or if you did see it coming. Ask yourself why you didn't do something about it. Figure out your part in causing the problem. Then set about creating a new, better life for yourself. There is a better life in your future.

9. Don't stay in a job you hate. Hating your job can kill you.

10. Success is difficult. If success were easy, everyone would be successful.

11. There's a special place for everyone. You can create the kind of future you want.

12. The workplace is fun and challenging. It can also be cruel and heartless. It rewards effort and planning, but tends to punish indifference and lack of preparation. Those who don't manage their careers, who just let things happen - often end up in painful, dead-end jobs and lifestyles.

13. You are in full control of your own future. No one can deny you a happy life if you decide to plan it and work for it. No one can stop you from becoming successful, but yourself.

14. It's never too late for a new beginning.

15. Align yourself with winners. Hang around with winners. Success really does rub off from others. "If you keep doing what you have always been doing, you're going to get what you've always gotten"

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Smart Love

An interesting read. MUST READ!


SMART LOVE
By Joshua Harris

Beyond what feels good, back to what is good It was finally here-Anna's wedding day, the day she had dreamed about and planned for months. The small, picturesque church was crowded with friends and family Sunlight poured through the stained-glass windows, and the gentle music of a stringed quartet filled the air. Anna walked down the aisle toward David. Joy surged within her. This was the moment for which she had waited so long. He gently took her hand, and they turned toward the altar.

But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. A girl stood up in the middle of the congregation, walked quietly to the altar, and took David's other hand. Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followed by another. Soon, a chain of six girls stood by him as he repeated his vows to Anna.

Anna felt her lip beginning to quiver as tears welled up in her eyes. "Is this some kind of joke?" she whispered to David.

"I'm.. .I'm sorry, Anna," he said, staring at the floor.

"Who are these girls, David? What is going on?" she gasped.

"They're girls from my past," he answered sadly "Anna, they don't mean anything to me now.. .but I've given part of my heart to each of them."

"I thought your heart was mine," she said.

"It is, it is," he pleaded. "Everything that's left is yours." A tear rolled down Anna's cheek. Then she woke up.


BETRAYED

Anna told me about her dream in a letter. "When I awoke I felt so betrayed," she wrote. "But then I was struck with this sickening thought:

How many men could line up next to me on my wedding day? How many times have I given my heart away in short-term relationships? Will I have anything left to give my husband?"

I often think of Anna's dream. The jarring image haunts me. There are girls from my past, too. What if they showed up on my wedding day? What could they say in the receiving line?

"Hello, Joshua. Those were some pretty lofty promises you made at the altar today I hope you're better at keeping promises now than you were when I knew you."

"My, don't you look nice in that tuxedo. And what a beautiful bride. Does she know about me? Have you told her all the sweet things you used to whisper in my ear?"

There are relationships that I can only look back on with regret. I do my best to forget. I laugh them off as part of the game of love that everyone plays. I know God has forgiven me because I've asked Him to. I know the various girls have forgiven me because I've asked them to.

But I still feel the ache of having given away my heart to too many girls in my past.

THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS

Growing up, I considered dating an essential part of the complete teenage experience. If I wasn't dating a girl, I had a crush on one.

This started in junior high when my peers and I treated dating as a game, a chance to play at love and experiment with relationships. Having a girlfriend meant little more than saying you were "going out." No big deal.

My friends and I would go out with girls and break up with them at a frightening pace. The only worry was being dumped-you never wanted to get dumped, you wanted to do the dumping. One girl I knew had the fastest breakup routine ever: When she was ready to end a relationship, she'd say, "Skippy-bop, you just got dropped."
But soon, just saying you were going out with someone wasn't enough.

Instead, we began experimenting with the physical side of relationships.

Going out with someone came to mean you made out with that person, too. I remember standing by as a girl I liked called her boyfriend and broke up with him over the phone. As soon as she hung up, she kissed me. That meant we were an "official couple." Looking back, I can only shake my head at how immature we were. The physical intimacy of those junior high relationships had nothing to do with love or real affection. We just mimicked what we saw older kids do and what we watched in the movies. It seemed grown up, but in reality it was lust.

I'm thankful that junior high didn't last forever. In high school, I got serious about my walk with God and became actively involved in the church youth group. I put an "I'm Worth Waiting For" sticker on my NIV Student Bible and promised to stay a virgin until I got married. Unfortunately, youth group did little to improve my immature notions about relationships.

Even in church we played the dating game with passion-more passion, I regret to say, than we gave to worshiping or listening to sermons. During Sunday morning services we passed notes about who liked whom, who was going out with whom, and who had broken up with whom. Wednesday night youth group meetings served as our own opportunities to play "Love Connection," a game that resulted in broken hearts littering the foyer.

In my sophomore year, my involvement in the dating game took a more serious turn. That summer, I met Kelly She was beautiful, blonde, and two inches taller than I. I didn't mind. Kelly was popular, and all the guys liked her. Since I was the only one in the youth group who had the nerve to talk to her, she wound up liking me. I asked her to be my girlfriend on the youth group's water ski retreat.

Kelly was my first serious girlfriend. Everyone in our youth group recognized us as a couple. We celebrated our "anniversary" every month. And Kelly knew me better than anyone else. After my folks were asleep, Kelly and I would spend hours on the phone, often late into the night, talking about everything and nothing in particular. We thought God had made us for each other. We talked about getting married someday. I promised her that I would love her forever.

But, like many high school relationships, our romance was premature-too much, too soon. We began to struggle with the physical side of our relationship. We knew we couldn't be as close physically as we were emotionally. As a result, we experienced ongoing tension, and it wore on us.

Eventually, things turned sour.

"We have to break up," I said to her one night after a movie. We both knew this was coming.

"Is there any chance we can have something in the future?" she asked.

"No," I said, trying to add resolve to my voice. "No, it's over.

We broke up two years after we'd met. Not quite "forever," as I had promised.

SOMETHING BETTER

I was seventeen years old when my relationship with Kelly ended. My dreams of romance had ended in compromise, bitterness, and regret. I walked away asking, "Is this how it has to be?" I felt discouraged, confused, and desperate for an alternative to the cycle of short-term relationships in which I found myself. "God," I cried, "I want your best for my life! Give me something better than this!"
God answered that plea, but not in the way I had expected. I thought He'd bring me the ideal girlfriend or totally remove my desire for romance.

Instead, He revealed through His Word what it meant to submit my love life to His Will-something I'd never truly done. I wanted God's best but hadn't been willing to play by His rules.

Over the past four years, I've come to understand that God's lordship doesn't merely tinker with my approach to romance- it completely transforms it. God not only wants me to act differently, He wants me to think differently-to view love, purity, and singleness from His perspective, to have a new lifestyle and attitude.

The basis of this new attitude is what I call "smart love." Paul describes this kind of love in Philippians 1:9-10:

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ.

Smart love constantly grows and deepens in its practical knowledge and insight; it opens our eyes to see God's best for our lives, enabling us to be pure and blameless in His sight.

SENTIMENTAL GUSH

The Message paraphrases Philippians 1:9-10 this way: "Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush."

Have you ever been guilty of "sentimental gush," allowing your emotions to dictate the course of a dating relationship? Many people do this. Instead of acting on what they know is right, couples let their feelings carry them away I've engaged in my share of sentimental gush. While dating, I made many decisions based on superficiality and ignorance. I could so easily say "I love you" to a girl, feigning selfless devotion, but in truth, selfishness and insincerity motivated me. I was primarily interested in what I could get, such as the popularity a girlfriend could give me or the comfort and pleasure I could gain physically or emotionally from a relationship. I didn't practice smart love. I lived "dumb love"-choosing what felt good for me instead of what was good for others and what pleased God.

To truly love someone with smart love, we need to use our heads as well as our hearts. As Paul describes it, love abounds in knowledge and insight. To "know" something is to understand or grasp it clearly and with certainty "Insight" is an instance of understanding the true nature of something, the ability to see the motivation behind thoughts and actions.

With this definition in mind, let me ask you a few questions. Does love motivate the guy who sleeps with his girlfriend when it will scar her emotionally and damage her relationship with God? Does sincerity motivate the girl who leads a guy along then breaks up with him when she finds someone better? No! Both people exemplify selfish motivation. They need to "get smart" and realize how their actions affect others.


In recent years, I've tried to let sincere and intelligent love guide me, and as I've done this, I've come to some pretty intense conclusions for my life. I've come to realize that I have no business asking for a girl's heart and affections if I'm not ready to back up my request with a lifelong commitment. Until I can do that, I'd only be using that woman to meet my short-term needs, not seeking to bless her for the long term. Would I enjoy having a girlfriend right now? You bet! But with what I've learned as I've sought God's will for my life, I know that a relationship right now wouldn't be best for me or for the one I'd date. Instead, by avoiding romance before God tells me I'm ready for it, I can better serve girls as a friend, and I can remain free to keep my focus on the Lord.

KNOWING WHAT IS BEST

Waiting until I'm ready for commitment before pursuing romance is just one example of smart love in action. When our love grows in knowledge we can more readily "discern what is best" for our lives. Don't we all desperately need that discernment?

After all, when we engage in guy-girl relationships, we face some pretty hazy issues. Don't get me wrong-I believe in absolutes. But in dating, we don't only have to make wise choices between absolute wrong and absolute right. We also have to evaluate all parts of our dating relationships to make sure we don't go too far, allowing ourselves to get pulled into something we should avoid.

Here's an example. Let's say that someone at school asks you out. How do you seek guidance about what kind of person you can go out with? Try looking up "dating" in your Bible's concordance. You won't get far. Or maybe you've gone out on a few dates with someone, and you just kissed for the first time. It was exciting. You feel as if you're in love. But is it right?

How do we find answers to these questions? This is where "smart love" comes in. God wants us to seek guidance from scriptural truth, not feeling. Smart love looks beyond personal desires and the gratification of the moment. It looks at the big picture: serving others and glorifying God.

"What about me?" you might be asking. "What about my needs?" This is the awesome part: When we make God's glory and other people's needs our priority, we position ourselves to receive God's best in our lives as well.

Let me explain.

In the past I made the starting point of my relationships what I wanted instead of what God wanted. I looked out for my needs and fit others into my agenda. Did I find fulfillment? No, I only found compromise and heartache. I not only hurt others, I hurt myself, and, most seriously, I sinned against God.

But when I reversed my attitude and made my main priority in relationships pleasing God and blessing others, I found true peace and joy Smart love unlocks God's best for our lives. When I stopped viewing girls as potential girlfriends and started treating them as sisters in Christ, I discovered the richness of true friendship. When I stopped worrying about who I was going to marry and began to trust God's timing, I uncovered the incredible potential of serving God as a single. And when I stopped flirting with temptation in one-on-one dating relationships and started pursuing righteousness, I uncovered the peace and power that come from purity I kissed dating goodbye because I found out that God has something better in store!

PURE AND BLAMELESS

The final benefit of seeking smart love is purity and blamelessness before God. This purity goes beyond sexual purity While physical purity is very important, God also wants us to pursue purity and blamelessness in our motives, our minds, and our emotions.

Does this mean we'll never mess up? Of course not! We can only stand before God because of His grace and the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus. And yet this grace doesn't give us license to be lax in our pursuit of righteousness.

Instead, it should urge us to desire purity and blamelessness even more.

Ben started dating Alyssa during his senior year in college. For quite some time, he had planned to marry the summer after he graduated. Since he and Alyssa were both deeply attracted to each other, he thought she was "the one."

In a letter, Ben told me how he had grown up with very high standards in his dating relationships. Alyssa was another story While Ben had never so much as kissed a girl, kissing was practically a sport for her.

Unfortunately, Alyssa~ values won out. "When she looked at me with those big brown eyes like I was depriving her of something, I caved in," Ben wrote. Their relationship soon became almost entirely physical. They maintained their virginity but only in the technical sense of the word.

A few months later, Alyssa began to be tutored in chemistry by another Christian guy whom Ben had never met. "That was a mistake," Ben wrote angrily "They were studying chemistry all right-body chemistry!" Alyssa broke up with Ben and the next day was hanging on the arm of her new boyfriend.

"I was crushed," Ben told me. "I had violated my own standards, and more important, God's standards, and it turned out that this wasn't the woman I was to marry" For several months Ben wrestled with guilt but finally laid it at the foot of the cross and moved on, determined not to make the same mistake twice. But what about Alyssa? Yes, God can forgive her, too. But I wonder if she ever realized she needs that forgiveness. When she passes Ben in the hail at school or sees him in the cafeteria, what goes through her mind? Does she realize she played a part in tearing down his purity? Does she feel pangs of guilt for breaking his heart? Does she even care?

I've shared with you how God has changed my perspective on dating. I've described how I've chosen to live my life and to interact with women until God shows me I'm ready for marriage. What would make me think that anyone would want to hear what I have to say? Because I think God would like to challenge you, too.

I believe the time has come for Christians, male and female, to own up to the mess we've left behind in our selfish pursuit of short-term romance.

Dating may seem an innocent game, but as I see it, we are sinning against each other. What excuse will we have when God asks us to account for our actions and attitudes in relationships? If God sees a sparrow fall (Matthew 10:29), do you think He could possibly overlook the broken hearts and scarred emotions we cause in relationships based on selfishness?

Everyone around us may be playing the dating game. But at the end of our lives, we won't answer to everyone. We'll answer to God. No one in my youth group knew how I compromised in my relationships. I was a leader and considered a good kid. But Christ says, "There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known" (Luke 12:2).

Our actions in relationships haven't escaped God's notice. But here's the good news: The God who sees all our sin is also ready to forgive all our sins if we repent and turn from them. He calls us to a new way of life. I know God has forgiven me for the sins I've committed against him and against the girlfriends I've had. I also know He wants me to spend the rest of my life living a lifestyle of smart love. The grace he has shown motivates me to make purity and blamelessness my passion.

I'm committed to practicing smart love, and I invite you along. Let's make purity and blamelessness our priority before our all-seeing, all-knowing God.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Is Destiny in Our Hands?

Is Destiny in our Hands?

Destiny is a river; free will, a paddle.

Do you believe in destiny? Do you believe we are puppets controlled by the hands of fate? Is what happens to us preordained? Are we helpless victims hurled about by arbitrary and chaotic circumstances?

Do I believe in preordination? Sure, I do! If I thrust my arm into a boiling kettle of oil, it is "preordained" that I will get badly burned. On the other hand, if I don’t stick my hand in fire, it’s "preordained" I won’t get burned. So, it’s clear that my actions help shape my destiny. Those who choose to ignore the laws of nature, such as the dangers of fire, will suffer the consequences. But what about disasters such as flash floods, invading armies, job loss because of downsizing, or outbreaks of disease? Aren’t these proof that we have no control over our lives, that we are merely pawns in the hands of fate? Not at all. Destiny is not an isolated event, such as a flash flood, but a direction of movement. Life is a path that leads to our destination. The nature of our destination(success or failure, happiness or misery) depends on which forks in the road we choose to follow. Destiny, then, is a river, and our free will is a paddle. We can choose the direction in which we move by paddling, even if it means paddling upstream. Because of free will, we can also refuse to paddle. But if we do so, we will be swept away by the tide of events.

For this reason, Gilbert K. Chesterton wrote, "I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act." You see, our actions are seeds that germinate into our destiny.

Our destiny is not determined by the hardships we meet, but by our reactions or responses to them. I may react to a flash flood by growing despondent because of my losses, or I may respond to the flood by starting a basement cleaning business in which I clean up in more ways than one!

There’s no point in bemoaning our fate when disaster strikes. If it’s unavoidable, we have to accept it, for we won't be ready to move on until we acquiesce. But, as Deng Ming-Dao points out, "Acceptance does not mean fatalism. It does not mean capitulation to some slaughtering predestination. [It means] acting within the framework of circumstance."

Getting back to my original question, do you believe you are in charge of your own life or are you a victim of circumstances? The question is purely rhetorical because I already know the answer. Of course, you believe you are in charge of your own fate. How do I know? Because we all take pride in and accept credit for our accomplishments. Whenever we are recognized, we do not reject the certificate, award, plaque, or trophy and say, "Oh, no, I cannot accept this because I’m unworthy."

On the contrary, we graciously accept it and thank those who have recognized us. This is proof that we recognize we have control over our lives.

Yet, when we screw up and make a serious mistake, what do we do?

Do we say, "Sorry, I wasn’t as careful as I should have been?" No, we are struck by amnesia and conveniently forget our power. Instead of accepting responsibility, we search for scapegoats to blame. "Sorry, boss, I’m late because ______ (my alarm clock didn’t ring, the bus was late, the snowstorm or traffic accident delayed me — you can fill in the blanks). If we choose to cast blame, we are taking a detour on a path that can lead to a glorious destination. Far better to accept responsibility, learn from our mistakes, and move on. Like William Jennings Bryan, we need to recognize that, "Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."

By now, you probably agree that we create our own fate. But how specifically do we do so? Here’s the premise: WE CREATE AND ATTRACT WHATEVER WE FOCUS ON. Let’s look at a couple of examples. Both Karen and Sue were laid off and recently found separate jobs, but with identical working conditions.

Karen is unhappy. True, she’s paid more per hour than the average worker, but she’s paid on an hourly basis. That means she’s not paid for her lunch hour and she has no sick days. Simply put: no work, no pay. So while others enjoy national holidays, she has to put up with a smaller pay cheque because of the holidays. Karen has no company benefits and no security. As she focuses on the benefits she lacks, she grows resentful and anxious. Because she’s unhappy, she’s not very productive. She exudes a dark cloud of negativity and finds herself constantly complaining. Would you say her conduct, attitude, and actions will lead to a promotion? Isn’t it more likely that she will be laid off again? Can you see how what she focuses on, lack and negativity, leads to more of the same? What about Sue? She wishes she had benefits, but she has an attitude of gratitude. She’s thankful for having a job. Better to make some money than none. She also counts her blessings: she’s gaining more experience, contributing to society, making new friends, pleased about the convenient company location, and likes her supervisor. Things may not be perfect, but Sue is cheerful, productive, and contributes to the overall morale of the company.

What do you think? Are her actions and attitude attracting opportunity? Is she likely to be promoted? If not, her additional experience will be her ticket to a better job in another company. Sue was aware of the benefits she lacked, but chose to focus on the blessings she had. That’s how she remained positive. Awareness of the undesirable conditions of one’s job is not negative. But focusing on them is. It is important to know what we don’t like, for that is the only way to understand what we want. Once we know what we want (in this case, a job with full benefits), while remaining cheerful, we focus on it. When focused, we can set goals, look for, and find opportunities. In fact, our positive attitude will attract and create the reality we want.

Yes, our destiny is in our hands, so let’s start paddling!

Lonely Would Leave Me Alone

Lonely, I think I am. Here is a little something from the TV series Ally McBeal on Loneliless...


McBealism
Loneliness...You know what the most common insanity going today? It is the idea that love will just come to you even if you do nothing. All the right one will come along, it will happen, you just wait. Well who the hell came up with that? How many couples do you know, how many friends do you have that you can truly say the right one came along? You talk to most people and they'll say the right one slipped away. My point, ask anybody what they want the most...it's love. We all agree personal happiness is much more important than our careers and yet look at what we do with the hours in our loves, the days. Nobody really applies themselves to their personal lives, which is sit back and assume that will take care of itself. Well sometimes it doesn't. ...sometimes, the things that you regret the most are the things that you don't do.

Love Quotes Part 2

Love Quotes for the Day

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?

Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them... when the moment you can't feel them under your fingertips you miss them?

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had?

Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much.... for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all.

Don't Quit

The all time famous poem about not quitting... Here it is again!


Don't Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worse,
That you must not quit.

After a While

A very powerful perspective about breaking up and your inner strength to go forward and start again...

After a While
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand
and chaining a soul
And you learn
that love doesn't mean
leaning
and company doesn't always mean
security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts and
presents aren't promises
and you begin to
accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult
not the grief of a child
and you learn
To build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight,
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns
if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn
that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
And you learn
And you learn
with every goodbye
You learn...
- 1971 Veronica Shoffstall -

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Tribute to Other Love Sites

Here's a little link to romantic resources on the web:

Draw closer together with 1000 Questions for Couples
http://www.questionsforcouples.com

Spice up your love life with 500 Love...making Tips & Secrets http://www.theromantic.com/500tips.htm

Discover 300 Creative Dates at
http://www.theromantic.com/creativedates.htm

100 Bedroom Games for Couples
http://www.theromantic.com/games.htm

Learn the 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships
http://www.50secrets.com/

There is A Better Way To Date
http://www.theromantic.com/abetterway.htm

Read about The Romantic's Guide to Popping the Question at http://www.howtoproposemarriage.com/

Lepaker Love Life

This blog site needs more promotion. Love life needs more promotion. Lepaker's love life needs a promotion! Ha! Yup, you got that right. Love is a sign of all things beautiful. All things that are beautiful in life is love. The single most fulfilling and strongest emotions - LOVE! Can't quite get enough of it right? Never did. Even if you have lots of it, you still yearn more from it. Why don't we have enough? Why??!

Technorati Profile

A few days ago, saw LLBQ's picture in her college brochure which she posed/modelled for them. Interesting and with a short write-up. Do miss her a little. Anyhow, I emailed her. Got a reply! Replied again, no love back. Which is fine. I'm okay with it. Cause there isn't any official love right now? Although deep down I know she still have love for me. I can rest assure that! But that's not important now. What is, The Lepaker's Destiny is. My own life. My own love.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Love Quotes

LOVE QUOTES

One of the best things about love
is just recognizing a man's step
when he climbs the stairs
- Colette -

For love is blind
- Chaucer 1598 -

Monday, November 27, 2006

Happy Feet Happy Love

Just watched Happy Feet over the weekend. A very nice animated movie and extremely funny. But there's more to that. It's about love. It shows someone different being loved. And when Gloria (female character) loves someone, she waits. She waited for Mumble. That's love. Indeed and nice movie. You got to watch it!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

James Bond - Casino Royale

Casino Royale - Do you like it or do you hate it?

Many have watched Casino Royale and some just hate it. Some absolutely love it. I for one love it. First off it's because of the James Bond role. Daniel Craig is the prefect James Bond. Unlike the other James Bonds, Daniel Craig is bare. He's not exactly good looking (though he's built - no gay comments here ok!). He does get injured and doesn't depend on gadgets to get him out of difficult situations. He's rugged, tough and the new age man. The old James Bond, too refine. Too refine to do the work.

Of course, Eva Green as Vesper Lynd as mentioned in my earlier post. How could one miss the fact that Eva Green look absolutely gorgeous! She even looks great with minimum makeup. The way she carries herself. That red bare back dress she wears. Those legs! And have you see her breasts? Yup, you can see some of her previous movies and pictures where she got naked before. Those are beautiful breasts!! Ha! Drool drool drool away... Ok, it's all sexual fantasies but hey, she is worthy of such fantasies. Much more of it!

Hrmm..

Casino Royale - Love it or hate it?
Daniel Craig - Love him or hate him?
Eva Green - Love her or hate her?

Bad Day

Had a really bad day today... emotionally. I don't know why. Is it love? Is it comfort? Is it lust? I don't know. So I'll just leave you with this song... my all time favorite!


Bad Day - Daniel Powter
Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Who is Eva Green?

Eva Green. One word. HOT! I just recently noticed her when I went to the movies to watch Casino Royale. She was the highlight. Especially in that red bare back dress. It's not so much the fact that she simply looks hot. It's the way she carries herself. Elegant yet sexy...



Full name: Eva Gaelle Green
Named after the world's first woman, Eve, because she was born before her twin-sister.

Date of Birth: July 5, 1980

Location of Birth: Paris, France

Star sign: Cancer

Hair color: Dark brown. Eva's natural hair color is a dark blond. She always dyes it. "As a blonde, I felt very organized. As a brunette, I was more like myself. I had the impression it expressed my violence better."

Eyes color: Blue-Green. Eva is myopic.

Height: 5 ft 6 in (168 cm) according to CelebHeights.com and confirmed by Paris Match (February 23, 2006)

Parents: Walter Green and Marlène Jobert

Siblings: Joy (non-identical twin sister), four minutes younger" She's a non-identical twin. We are very different. We are different physically and psychologically. She is more into business. She loves horses and everything. She loves movies but she's not jealous of not being an actress."Eva likes to say that Joy is more terrestrial and she is more lunar.

First professional play: Jalousie En Trois Fax (2001)

First work as an actress in a film: The Dreamers (2003)


Find out more info about her here http://www.evagreenweb.com/

Friday, November 17, 2006

Prawn?

There's something about porn that attracts people, generally men! When a site contains it, the hits grows. When a forum has some pics, that instantly becomes to most active thread. Why? Why? Why? Is it because we have testerone? I know even women are interested to check it out. Maybe to learn a trick or two.. hahaa!!!

Happy Prawning!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Malaysia Incestful Money Matters

I hate to get into politics but this is good read. Though I'll share with you all... A good read nonetheless...


From The Asia Sentinel
11 November 2006
The Cesspit of Malay Politics

The murder of a Mongolian model in Malaysia recalls Lord Acton's famous dictum that absolute power corrupts absolutely

The crisis that is wracking Malaysia's United Malays National Organisation, the country's biggest ethnic party, is not the crisis of a sex and murder scandal. Not the crisis of former Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad's heart attack. Not the crisis of infighting between the Abdullah Ahmad Badawi - Pak Lah -- camp and his predecessor's interests.

This is a deeper crisis of a party that has been in power for 50 years, more than long enough to be totally corrupted by power. This is the crisis of 30 years of the New Economic Policy (NEP), which has brought some gains to most Malays but above all lots of gains to the same narrow group who control the political levers.

In Malaysia, the NEP - or at least the manner in which it is implemented - creates a double moral jeopardy for those in power.

Look at the sorry state of the leadership. No one can seriously suggest that Mahathir, old, angry and sick, is fit to return to office to resurrect his combination of authoritarianism, dynamism and money politics, his brand of making Malays into billionaire capitalists through special favors. Nor can one seriously suggest that Pak Lah is up to the job, though given the alternatives currently available his brand of honest inaction may be the best the country can hope for.

The collection of individuals who might replace Pak Lah should his political enemies or ill health catch up with him is disturbing to put it mildly. There is scant sign of leadership of any sort but plenty of evidence of UMNO money politics. As for the most obvious successor, Deputy Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak, it may prove difficult for him to shake off his association with the man at the centre for now of the current scandal, Abdul Razak Baginda, who is helping the police in the investigation of the gruesome death of a Mongolian part-time model on whom he reportedly lavished money and who her relatives accuse of having fathered his child before she was killed.

Anwar Ibrahim? Perhaps his years in jail have humbled him, made him realize the value of freedom and tolerance, appreciate that power can come from moral leadership as well as money. Perhaps too he is willing to put his heart and soul into the creation of a Malaysian Malaysia where politics is more about economic and social issues not race and religion. But who knows?

Some yearn for earlier times. Names such as Musa Hitam and Tunku Razaleigh Hamzah come to mind. But Musa, 72, was a nice guy from the grass roots who never quite had the stomach for a big fight. And the aristocratic Razaleigh, though still only 69, may be remembered not merely for his achievements running Pernas and Petronas and as a youthful Finance Minister ("father of the Malaysian economy" as he was dubbed by sycophants) but for pioneering money politics and rumors of his deep entrenchment in the Bank Bumiputra scandal of the early 1980s, which cost the Malaysian treasury more than US$1 billion. But these all seems giants compared with the men in Pak Lah's cabinet.

Whoever was actually responsible for the murder and dynamiting of the body of the Mongolian model, this is only the latest of a long string of scandals involving senior establishment figures, whether it is sex with under-age girls or travel with suitcases full of money.

Baginda himself is not a politician in the formal sense of the word. But his so-called think tank, the Malaysian Strategic Research Institute, was more of an international propaganda arm of both UMNO and the Malaysian armed forces. Baginda has only medium intellectual weight (a master's degree in War Studies from the University of London and a fascination with Winston Churchill) academic credentials when, in his early 30s, he became head of the institute when it was set up in 1993.

But Baginda does have connections, most notably to Najib. He is also endowed with a quiet charm, a command of language and has been at ease not just in UMNO circles but with the foreign journalists who came knocking on his door in Jalan Ampang seeking intelligent- sounding comments on the political issues of the day.

He has steered a diplomatic course through UMNO factionalism and presented the government/Najib view in moderate and quotable terms. A quick Internet search attests to how often he has been quoted in the foreign media, most recently in Associated Press and the International Herald Tribune on October 29, and by Bloomberg on October 21, on the subject of the Mahathir-Pak Lah war of words. He is also a prolific writer and editor. He penned a book in praise of the Malaysian Armed Forces, published by them, and numerous other works published including "Malaysia and the Islamic World," a collection of essays he edited and with a forward by Najib.

The unassuming political analyst has been in reality very close to the centers of power, which may explain why members of an elite branch of the police became involved, in some as yet uncertain way, in the affair of the murdered alleged ex-mistress.

But the much bigger issue for Malaysia than this tragedy is the general behavior of UMNO elitists. Power and wealth have dulled their moral sensibilities. Thus ministers who in their personal lives take scant notice of the teachings of Islam make a political song and dance about religion to try to retain credibility with the Malay masses and fight off the challenge of Pas.

Thus supposedly urbane, educated, cosmopolitan younger leaders like kris-waving Hishamuddin Hussein (son of former PM Hussein Onn) and NEP-forever Khairy Jamaluddin (son-in-law of Pak Lah) resort to the crudest racial issues to maintain their credibility with Malays who may wonder why these upcoming leaders mostly seem to be related to past or present ones. The rope that Pak Lah has given to the bright but arrogant and immature Khairy also surpasses belief. He may yet be hanged by it.

Meanwhile other leaders see nothing wrong in money politics within UMNO. Buying votes is an internal matter, part of the game and nothing to do with the public! So the public are expected to be happy that their representatives' opinions are for sale! And don't bother to ask from which particular corrupt deal member X made Y millions in order the buy the vote of Z.

Nor should non-Malays in particular question the behavior of leaders of the race. The fact that most of Malaysia's leaders have been only partially of Malay stock - Indian, Thai, Turkish, etc origins come to mind - is quietly forgotten as UMNO chiefs play the race card at every opportunity with phrases of racial supremacy that sound borrowed from South Africa of the apartheid era.

The notion of Malaysian identity, of mingling of the races to create a Bangsa Malaysia (Mahathir's 2020 vision of a Malaysian nation) is publicly ridiculed by UMNO politicians desperate to remain aboard the gravy train of Malay privilege, collecting jobs and shares and fees without having to work for them.

The UMNO elite lack an adequate sense of shame or of the morality, public and private, and non-racialism of Islam. The fruits of 50 years in power and 35 years of the NEP are sweet for them and bitter for the unprivileged 90% of all races. That is the crisis of UMNO.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Romantic Getaway

I found a great place for a romantic getaway. It's in Thailand, far south. Very private and quiet too. I personally haven't been there but those that went only have great things to say about it. Those that I recomended to go there, have only great things to say about it. Don't worry, I don't get a fee for promoting it. I'm promoting it because it think it simply look just fantastic and I truly support places that really have a class above when it comes to ambience and romantism!!

Check it out at http://www.aleenta.com/


What's my Romantic Signature?

I was reading Michael Webb's article as below:

What Is Your Romantic Signature?
by Michael Webb

When Athena and I were dating in college, I began using a Hersheys *Kiss* as my signature. I would hide them in ice cream cones. I would have her roommates place them on her pillow.
Waiters would bring them with the check at the end of a romantic meal. I would even mail them to her. I wanted her to think of me at all times of the day and to let her know that I was doing likewise.

Giving her these *kisses* was very inexpensive and didnt take much time at all. However, they spoke volumes of my love for her.

There are many different signatures you can use to quietly express your love. At many stationery stores I have seen sheets of tiny red hearts (and smiley faces). They could be stuck on notes, windshields, lunch bags, calendars, toothpaste tubes, alarm clocks and endless other places. The idea is not to blanket everything at once with your signature but to leave them every so often and perhaps for the rest of your life.

I still leave *kisses* for my wife to discover. Another idea for a signature is a comic strip ofher liking. You would either need to be diligently cutting them out of the paper or buy a book from which to cut them out.

Some Christian book stores sell stacks of small cards with inspirational scriptures on them that could be used as your signature as well. At first you might want to begin by sending a card or small present or two with your new signature on them so she will get the idea when she (or he) starts seeing it popping up all over the place.

The possibilities are endless. So.... whats going to be your signature



That got me thinking... What's my romantic signature??? Hrmm... Still thinking. When I figured out something, I'll let you know. But for now.. HELP!!!!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Cameron Highland Resort

Someone asked for more information about the Cameron Highland Resort by YTL. Simple... just go to their website, Cameron Highland Resort. All the info you need!

A snippet from the website:

Cameron Highlands Resort is situated on the largest hill resort in Malaysia, surrounded by breathtaking scenery, lush greenery, rolling hills and Tudor-styled cottages.
The luxurious boutique Resort features 56 well-appointed rooms and suites, and fronts Cameron Highlands’ magnificent 18-hole golf course.
It also houses the third wellness centre of the award-winning Spa Village, which offers exotic treatments focusing on the healing and restorative properties of tea.
Located in the state of Pahang, approximately 200 kilometres north of Kuala Lumpur, Cameron Highlands is a beautiful holiday destination and the only place where you can find tea plantations and strawberries in Malaysia.
At about 1,500 metres above sea level, it is the highest area on the mainland and enjoys a cool climate and fresh air, with temperatures ranging between 15° and 25° Celsius.
Much of the character of the highlands remains unchanged since colonial times.
It is endearingly known to some as the “little corner of England in Asia”.
The cool climate on the picturesque plateau and its surrounding hills and forest make this a popular retreat for golfing, jungle trekking and exploration of the many plantations and gardens.
Cameron Highlands Resort is ideal all year round for families, honeymooners and holidaymakers out to sate their appetites for trails, tales and tradition.
SIDENOTE: Isn't this just free advertising for YTL??!! Hahaha... they should pay me for this.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Cameron Highlands

Over the weekend, I was at Cameron Highlands with the car club. The road via Simpang Pulai is just fantastic. The drive is at 3rd/4th gear turns with some occasionally 2nd gear input. Not too bad. The scenary is something to behold. Green everywhere, strawberries everywhere... tea plantations too! Temperature at night was about 16 degree... Pretty chillin'. Stayed at Strawberry Park.. hotel on the highest point in Cameron Highlands. Not too bad really. Of course it would have been better if stayed at Cameron Highlands Resort by YTL... but that would have cost a whooping RM500++ a night! Nuts... we had scones there though! :)

What's the big deal about scones anyway? Some fancy british style tea time snack? Screw that! For RM5 a piece is expensive at YTL's. Could have gotten 5 pieces for RM1 at the coffee shop next door! Ha! But the ambience was fantastic. Credit goes to YTL for such a good job. I think the cafe is called Jim Thompson Lounge. Don't know what the big deal with Jim Thompson is but apparently he's some guy who got lost in Camerons. ??? Why?!

Was a great LEPAKING weekend!

Lepak, Slack, Lepak, Slack.

Nice eh?

Friday, November 10, 2006

Weekend

The weekend is here...
I'm thinking of Michael Gray's song The Weekend...
Been looking forward to it all week!!
The weekend is here!
Finally!
These are one of those things that you are willing to wait for.
The Weekend.

My Favorite :: Alfa Romeo 156

I quote Wikipedia here in regards to the car... My favorite of all time... Soon I'll be post pics about my ride, car in a new blog specially for cars and keep this blog about the lepaker's destiny. For now, space will be borrow here. Enjoy the read.

The Alfa Romeo 156 is a very stylish car introduced by the
Italian automaker Alfa Romeo in 1997 as the replacement for the 155. Its distinctive style with its high curved flanks made it, to some, the best looking car in its class. For any, this is the car with the 'hidden' rear door handles which are now commonplace.

The 156 was a highly developed front-wheel drive car (the station wagon offered all-wheel drive in left-hand drive markets) with a double wishbone front suspension and an all-independent multi-link rear suspension. The engine range encompassed 4-cylinder Twin Spark (150-155 bhp) 16 valve engines with variable valve timing, along with the 1.9 L (105-150 bhp) and 2.4 L (136-175 bhp) JTD turbodiesel engines. Until January 2001, the range-topping engine was the venerable
DOHC 2.5 L 24-valve V6 engine rated at around 190 to 192 bhp.

A significant addition to the 156 range was the Sportwagon
station wagon in 2000.
In February 2002, the 156 GTA and SportWagon GTA were launched. Equipped with a 3.2 L V6 with six-speed manual transmission, the GTA variants were aimed at the performance market. The GTA subsequently stopped production in October 2005, citing poor sales and the upcoming replacement to the 156, the
Alfa Romeo 159. The GTA variants boasted at least 250 bhp, had a lowered and stiffened suspension, a distinctive body kit and leather interior.

2002 also saw the arrival of a facelifted interior with different matte-finish surfacing and chrome highlights. It also used the
Alfa Romeo 147's dual-zone digital climate control and CanBus serial wiring system. A wider range of options including xenon lighting, tele-informatics and a Bose stereo system were available. Also ESP and slip control ASR came as standard.

Late 2003 saw the launch of a facelifted 156, with new front and rear fascias designed by
Giorgetto Giugiaro. There was also a wider range of interior colour options from this date. The 2.5 L V6 was deleted at this time and the GTA never received the exterior improvements.

In 2004, four-wheel drive versions arrived to some markets, which were known as the Crosswagon Q4 and Sportwagon Q4 (both using the 1.9 L JTD engine). These cars were equipped with a
Torsen four-wheel drive system.

The 156 sedan was discontinued late in 2005 in Europe, Q4 Crosswagon is still in production, 156 is to be phased out in other markets in 2006 with the forthcoming 159, which also spawned the
Brera, the 2-door coupe that replaces the GTV.

Awards Won:
In
1998, an international jury of 56 journalists representing 21 countries awarded the Alfa 156 the European Car of the Year award; it was described as having a "very refined suspension layout so to offer an impeccable roadholding". The 156 has won other awards, including:
Technical Innovation Award - Common Rail 1998 - (Autocar - Great Britain)
Best Compact Executive 1998 - (What Car - UK)
Best Compact Executive Car 1998- (Autoexpress - UK)
Die Besten Autos 1998, Paul Pietsch Preis - (Innovation prize for Common Rail, (Auto Motor und Sport - Germany)
Auto 1 Europa 1998 -(Panel of engineers, drivers and journalists from the 11 European magazines headed by Auto Bild)
Auto Trophy 1998 -(Auto Zeitung-Germany)
Trophee Du Design 1998 -(Automobile Magazine-France)

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Alfa Romeo - What to Expect?

Many people's favorite car - Alfa Romeo. Rich in history and legends. That's what made the all time favorite and every little boy (and adults) dream car, Ferrari too.

It's my favorite ride. Before I bought the car, I was WORRIED. You know, you have heard stories, it does freaking worries you. Not till you finally decided to the take the plunge and thus being reward handsomely for it! Yes! It's the next best thing that every happened to me, beside SEX! Ha!

An interesting post below by Redd of ItaliaAuto Club forum in regards to what to look out for in an Alfa Romeo pre-ownership:

  1. engine oil consumption - up to 1L/1000km is considered "normal" according to the manual, but imho is a bit excessive. that said, the TS engines do consume quite a fair bit of oil. this in itself is not a problem. the real problem occurs when owners dont realise this and run the car for extended periods with low oil levels. this can lead to engine damage which may not manifest itself for many months/years after. so ask the seller if the car consumes any oil, and how much specifically. if they are not aware of this, be wary. a good mechanic will also be able to tell if the engine is experiencing the early stages of oil starvation damage. if you buy the TS, CHECK YOUR OIL OFTEN!
  2. front suspension noise - the front suspension arms - upper and lower - wear out after a while and need to be replaced. this is a normal wear and tear part for 156/147 and most cars with dual-wishbone suspensions, and less of a problem on the 1.6TS as the car is lighter. if you hear squeaking/knocking/rattling from the front suspension, factor in some money for replacements.
  3. Mass Air Flow (MAF) meter - the MAF on the newer alfas are wear and tear items and also prone to damage from oiled filters. if the seller has an open cone filter installed, be wary. early signs of MAF damage include poor idling, hesistation in the rev range and loss of power in the higher rpms. sometimes a quick clean of the MAF will cure it, other times you need to replace it. MAFs usually last 80-100k kms on stock cars, less if the cars are modified or have aftermarket filters.
  4. cam variator - if your car sounds like a diesel engine, its likely it's got a dead cam variator. this is a wear and tear item. early stages of variator wear are symptomised by diesel-like noise during startup which goes away after a few seconds. if the noise persists, the variator needs to be replaced.

alfa ownership is not like japo ownership. if u expect to be able to drive an alfa like a toyota - drive and forget until the next service - you got another thing coming. europeans tend to require a bit more attention than japanese cars but if you look after them well and dont stinge on maintenance (use ricambi originale wherever possible) it will be a rewarding experience. there is no other car that offers more smiles per mile than an italian car.

Get one and you'll never turn back. Trust me on that!!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Need more income?

I recently subscribed to Google Adsense. You may check in out on the link located on the right toolbar, if you like. Was recomended by a friend and it seems like a really cool way to generate some income, whether small or not from you work on the net. It may or may not make you rich. But the point is, it does pay and it will help give you a little extra pocket money.

Yup! POCKET MONEY! Haha...

You can also check out my favorite photo software, Picasa by Google. I find it simple to use and very helpful. Most of my pictures I manage with the software. My favorite -> Collage! Yup... put pictures togeter!!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Status Quo - Yes or No?

Is life still Status Quo? Of course not. I have not been posting for a while. That's because I've been working on rebuilding my life and enhancing it further. However, some things just don't change. As much as I would like it to change, they just won't. How am I suppose to make things better? Now I only wonder.

Please help me people. Help me rebuild my life! This is happening way too long...!!!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

28th Burpday

Today is LLBQ's birthday. She's turning 28. She's still in Melbourne. I'm still in Malaysia. About 2 weeks back, I send LLBQ a birthday card. Finally decided that I should really do something about it before it's too late. It's about time. So I did. AR (Auto-Reply) Registered to her uncle's home. No news yet. She now lives in a rented place nearer to school. I do not have that address neither her number. It was pride that I didn't ask her for it when she went. Neither did she tell me. Maybe it's a sign.

For my 29th birthday, I still remember what LLBQ bought me... Georgio Armani perfume! I was so touched. Till now, I still can smell the sweets scent of the cologne she bought. Very thoughtful of her. That was also when we got back together.

What am I going to do? Nothing I guess. Let's see if she responds to the birthday card. Only time will tell.

Dear LLBQ, may happiness shines in the stars of your night and joy glitters in your eyes. Happy Birthday.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Status Quo - Have a Poem Instead

It's been a while since I blogged. Well... status quo. Still have not heard from her. Still waiting. Anticipating and waiting. In the mean time, here is some quotes from movies. My favorites thus far compiled....


The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe that (a) You're not home, (b) You're home but you don't want to talk to me, or (c) You're home, desperately want to talk to me, but you're trapped under something heavy. If it's either (a) or (c), please give me a call. - When Harry Met Sally

I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. - When Harry Met Sally

All I'm saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don't get him first, somebody else will, and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband - When Harry Met Sally

"What are you talking about?"
"She never wanted me. She wanted Joey all the time."
"Cameron, do you like the girl?"
"Ya."
"And is she worth all this trouble?"
"Well, I thought she was but you know..."
"She is or she isn't? See, first of all Joey isn't half the man you are. Secondly, don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want. Go for it."
-10 Things I Hate About You

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not!
Harry: Do to.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do to.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: I guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
- When Harry Met Sally


H: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
S: What?
H: I love you.
S: How do you expect me to respond to this?
H: How about, 'You love me too'?
S: How about, 'I'm leaving.'
H: Doesn't what I've said mean anything to you?
S: I'm sorry Harry, I know it's New Year's Eve, I know you're feeling lonely, but you can't just show up here, tell me you love me and expect everything to be all right. It doesn't work that way.
H: Well how does it work?
S: I don't know, but not this way. (Walking away)
H: Well how about this way. I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out, I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, I love when you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts, I love that after I've spent the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because its New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible.
S: That's just like you, Harry, you make it impossible to hate you; and I really hate you, I really hate you (said while simultaneously smiling and crying, then the big KISS).
- When Harry Met Sally


When you love someone,
And you love them with your heart,
It never disappears when you're apart.
And when you love someone
And you've done all you can do,
You set them free,
And if that love was true....
When you love someone
It will all come back to you
- Forget Paris


I guarantee it won't be easy.
I guarantee that at one point or another
One of us is going to want to leave.
But I also guarantee that
If I don't ask you to be mine
I am going to regret it
For the rest of my life
Because I know in my heart
You are the only one for me
-The Runaway Bride

The only wrong thing would be to deny what your heart truly feels -The Mask of Zoro

You will be doing anything
For the one you love....
Except love them again.
- Faithful

How come we don't always know when love begins, but we always know when it ends? -L.A. Story

The only feeling of real loss is when you love someone more than you love your self - Good Will Hunting

Love won't obey our expectations, its mystery is pure and absolute. - Briges of Madison County

You cannot find true love
Where it does not truly exist
And you cannot hide it
where it truly does.
- Kissing a Fool

A life without love, is no life at all - Ever After: A Cinderella Story

You'll always know when the right person walks into your life
If he's the right man for you
you just can't let him slip on by
- The Butcher's Wife

You will see a lot of things, But they will mean nothing to you If you lose sight of the thing you love - At First Sight

If you love someone you say it,...you say it right then, out loud,... or the moment just... passes you by - My Best Friend's Wedding

I would rather have had One breath of her hair, One kiss from her mouth, One touch of her hand, Than eternity without it. One! - City of Angels

I love you without knowing how, why, or even from where... - Patch Adams

Fate exists but it can only take you so far, Because once you're there It's up to you to make it happen. - Can't Hardly Wait

Distance is to love, what wind is to fire; It enkindles the great and extinguishes the small - Before Sunset